the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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the power to glow in the dark during the day.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The power to be superman with no power's

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Being able to poop your pants at will with no control over it.

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to talk in a mexican accent whenever you want to say "Whats up Essay"

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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to be able to see through doors... only when there open

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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The power to let 100 cockroaches crawl upon you for everytime you display emotion

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The power to teleport homeless people to the sun

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

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The power to fly but only when your feet are on the ground

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the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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the power to read and agree with the terms of service

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The power to fly with your feets on the ground

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!