The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

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the power to glow in the dark during the day.

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power drown in water

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The power to believe people will vote for you`re comment, which starts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY in the back.

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The power to eat a cheeseburger and still get fat from it

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The power to increase or decrease the size of your bones, but only your bones, not your flesh.

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The power of temporary invincibility but you have to kill yourself first

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The power to commit genocide, but only on things you love.

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The power to be super jewish

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Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

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the power to turn retarted

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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the power to become translucent

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The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

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The ability to fly while awake, but you are narcoleptic

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the ability to levitate

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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The power to read terms and conditions

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being allergic to dairy and soy

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!