The ability to heat up an object by 1 degree for every week you hold it.

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The power to fly, but only downwards

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The power to control weather on Mars

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the power to get in the van

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to turn Dollars into Pennies

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The power to cure cancer, in people already dead.

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The power to read people's minds, but in a language you don't understand.

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The power to have your incontinence supplies delivered discretely to your door with little or no cost to you!

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The ability to create a chicken egg, once and then never again.

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The power to do nothing with your life.

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The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

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The power to die

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

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The power to go Super Saiyan in the toilet

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The power to be the only homosexual in a house of 5 other people who are there for sex.

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The Power To Lick My Own Penis

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!