The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The power to ride a unicorn without a horn that can't fly.

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The power to have your right hand permanently glued to your face.

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the ability to un-dank any meme

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The power to waste time talking about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

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The ability to enter the gender's changing room with no one noticing but losing the ability to see and feel.

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The power to to excrete fluids from your body after digesting food or obtaining liquids

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the power to make realy convincing whale noises

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I got rhe power to always respawn in the middle of a noob tube. it's a blast...

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The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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the power to like charlie

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The power to summon huge snowstorms, but only on the weekend.

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the power to turn on a random guys tv

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The power to imagine boobs whenever you want at any time

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The power to run at the average speed of a normal person running.

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to kill someone as long as they've already been killed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!