The power to tie your shoes...... while your on BOTH knees

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to twerk as good as miley cyrus

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to be a virgin forever.

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The power to get the most rated pointless superpowers post

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

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The power to sneeze with your eyes opened.

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blindness

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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The power to teleport the remote control to you from across the room twithout getting up, but only if your TV is broken.

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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spontaneous ejaculation

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To shit bricks.

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swear words -jesse

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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The power to see any woman naked, but only if she's wearing to clothes...

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

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The power to become a laptop forever!

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the ability to look into your brain

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!