The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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power to blow up your own head only once,

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The power to be immune to any type of radiation, unless it has something from the periodic table.

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The powers to blink at the speed of light

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the power to buy something worth 1.95$ when you only have 1.94$

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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The power to make yourself fall into a ten year coma.

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The power to buy free things.

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The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

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To shit bricks.

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The powre to speel thengs wrong but put things in the right order

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The Power to glow in the dark during day time only.

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The power to transform into yourself.

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The power to lift objects that weigh less than a gram

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Change the outcome of Disney movies 3 years before they come out.

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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The ability to not live forever

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The power to clap 14 times a second

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The ability to eat Oreos and not have diarrhea after.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!