the power to turn into nothing.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power to tie your shoes...... while your on BOTH knees

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the power to twerk as good as miley cyrus

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to get the most rated pointless superpowers post

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The power to be a virgin forever.

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power to be a GOD with your imagination

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The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to sneeze with your eyes opened.

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blindness

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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The power to have backround music in your life.

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The power to teleport the remote control to you from across the room twithout getting up, but only if your TV is broken.

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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To shit bricks.

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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swear words -jesse

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The power to see any woman naked, but only if she's wearing to clothes...

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!