The power to own Greek, Italian and Irish stocks.

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The power to be unconscious during Calculus class.

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The ability to DO A BARREL ROLL

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The power to transform every book, note or image on the television into illegal child porn simply by being near them.

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The power to have 50%-78% water in your body

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Be virtually indestructible, but only to things your not paying attention too.

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The power to do reverse moonwalk

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The power to hover 1 foot off of the ground.

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the power to fail at life

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a power to turn liquid into goo!

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The pewer to become a human bullet magnet. Moral: "DONT WORRY PEOPLE! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!" (Well if you want to sacrifice yourself to save them all, then you its useful and you a douchebag)

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The ability to screw up everything you say in the language that the country you are in speaks

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The power to kill you self.

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ability to run very fast without stopping forever

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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The power to use your penis as a lasso.

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The Power to Die instantly.

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to have sex and sleep at the same time

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the ability to take a fart that other people can actually see.

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The ability to irreversibly turn into a turkey days before thanksgiving.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!