The power to fly when your touching the ground

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Ability to shape-shift into your twin brother.

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

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The power to walk on water for 1 second and then fall in

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The ability to be poor for life

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to realize that I am starting to sound (and type) more and more like Salvador Dali, and being proud because the man was a genius, the most fantastic thing he could do every morning, was to wake up with a person as fantastic as himself! And while he indeed walked a different path than most do, no one can deny his footprints are clearer than most... Perfection? A losers wish... to be outstanding... is a gift on its own. Moral: Yeah many of you see this as pointless, so I thought I could just as well add it. While I dream of the age where people stop looking for Gods and strengthen the most powerful tool in the universe: YOU.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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Dejavu

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The power to bleed anally at will

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The power to grow the pinky nail of your right hand

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the power to live in lava, magma, fire, etc unless your body temp is over 120 degrees

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The power to jump higher than a speeding bullet and run faster than a tall building.

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The power to predict the present

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The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

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The ability to create bruises on your body but not know where they came from, and then poke them.-.Jack

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The power to look at Sun.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The power to have a device to turn the tv off without touching it!!! :O

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!