the power to self destruct without hurting people.

The power to make every female cop want you... IN JAIL.

The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

The power to give yourself Kidney stones.

The power to increase or decrease the size of your bones, but only your bones, not your flesh.

The power to deep throat a giraffe!

The power to be able to insult that piece of shit Chuck Norris without bein... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *dead* And of course the ability to type you`re death scream and you`re status after you`re dead.

The power to erase anything written in pencil

The power to hold the floor down using gravity.

The power to play any Justin Bieber song of your choice out of your butt.

The superpower to run at the speed of light, without having the body to handle such unnatural extension... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE...

The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

The power to never run out of toilet paper when going to the bathroom

The power to eat nails and crap broken glass.

The power to always know what the time is, but not without a clock

Look handsome when no one is looking at you and then when they do you change back to normal

The power to do 1d3 points of damage on successful touch attack twice a day assuming no spell resistance.

The useless power to write about useless powers...

The power of women's rights.

The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

The ability to be invincible, but still die.

The power to always have the worst thing possible happen

The ability to mimic your actions in a mirror perfectly

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!