The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to throw up and have it go back into your mouth

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The ability to walk on walls as long as you're laying sideways on the floor.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to see 1 plank length farther then most normal people

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The power to go super saiyan for 0.01 seconds

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The power to write my own pointless superpower ?

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Super-slowness

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The ability to breathe naturally while thinking about breathing

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the power to not finish your

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To tell how many kids in a sweatshop it took to make your nike's

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The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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The ability to know exactly where every Canadian penny within 5 feet of you is.

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understanding every language only if you get insulted

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The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

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The power to float a centimeter above the ground.

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Genetic immunity to the bubonic plague.

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The power of licking your own elbow and nose

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The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

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the power to shit yourself when kissing someone.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!