the power to fly for 2-6 seconds only when every apple product in arizona is at 100% battery level

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The power to have night vision during the day.

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32% Levitation.

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The power to kick ass when your names aoife.

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The power to be writing a pointless superpower on a website about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

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Having a bullet-proof skeleton.

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

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The power to make terrible puns and drink ketchup non-stop, otherwise known as being Sans.

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The power to have explosive diarrhea involuntarily but only on dinners with your date and his/her parents.

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The power to hover 1 foot off of the ground.

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the power to be indestructable to ballistics, falls, poisons and other potentially lethal things however everyday mundane things will be hazardous to yourself

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to find a paper clip when you need one.

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the power to get in the van

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the power to teleport 2 in. from were you were standing in 8 hours

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to read autistic people's minds

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The power to see who is writing these powers

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THE POWER TO MAKE SHIT

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The power to sneeze with your eyes opened.

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The ability to grow a third nostril.

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!