Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The ability to teleport to any place in the universe, but only if it is currently occupied by something else

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the power that makes your ass turn into a shit machine gun, but you can only use it if its directed at your mouth.

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The power to make terrible puns and drink ketchup non-stop, otherwise known as being Sans.

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The power to turn into an escalator

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The power to change the channel without a remote, but only but only if you're holding the remote.

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The power to make a pint a gallon

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The power to hear everything. But only def people have it.

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The ability to taste only from your butt-hole.

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Moral man. Moral: I have self irony... which isn't a superpower... neither is being me... But its at least Super pointless and I have the power to do this... SO CLOSE! SO DAMN CLOSE! :(

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The power to read minds, but only your own.

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The power to play any Justin Bieber song of your choice out of your butt.

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The ability to make someone love you but only if they are heavier than 300kg

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the most useless superpower is the power to sit around thinking up new superpowers

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The ability to become a paraplegic at will.

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The ability to grow a third nostril.

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The power to be immune to any type of radiation, unless it has something from the periodic table.

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The power to resist Buzz Lightyear´s lazer beam, but only in real life

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The power to be a Fox News anchor with something actually coherent to say.

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The power to invent things that have already been invented.

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The power to decrease the number of thumbs up by how long the joke was written.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!