The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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The power to swim as fast as Sonic The Hedgehog

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the power to cure someones cold by giving them AIDs

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The power to transform any valuable rock into celery

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The power to psychically flush any toilet in the world once every 27 minutes.

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The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

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The power to light yourself on fire but not be immune to fire

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The power to have bad breath after you brushed your teeth.

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The power to see white objects in off white.

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The power to use the english language to grammatical perfection. er, ferpection.

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The power to tickle your own feet.

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Super strength, but the only thing it affects is feathers.

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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the power to pee and sneeze at the same time.

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The power to fly but only when your in space.

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Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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the power to piss at will but only when your bladder is full

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The ability to give the best hugs in the world to people who don't need be hugged

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!