The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to turn everything you touch into a crying, hungry baby.

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The power to breath in 1% more oxygen

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the power to sleep for a LONG TIME but u still can die from dehydration and no food

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The power to stop time for 1 second

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The power to heal but every time you heal your leg or arm falls off.

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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the power to write only the letter R

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the power to make thin air that is harmless

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The power to climb ladders faster.

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The ability to not be Batman

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The power to teleport to the center of the Earth.

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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North Korea's Nuclear missile program.

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Super Arians. Moral: If you think of it, Super Sayan is an acronym for Super Asian, are blonde blue eyed Asians superiors? DRAGON BALL JAPANAZEE!

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The power to see 147 billion years into the future.

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The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

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the power to grow any one hair at any desirable lenght

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!