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Clarksonisms
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Pointless Inventions
Things You Think Only You Do
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The power to mentally control tapeworms.
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-29
Super Stength Backlash: Power of an incredibly powerful punch, but everytime you strike the force is reflected back onto you.
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-29
The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster
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-29
The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.
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-29
The power to shit 1 penny per every year
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-31
The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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-31
The power to not have a power. and only say Yeah .hyeahyeahyeahyeah YeahYeahyeahyeahyeahyea
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-31
Liam Brudenell
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-31
I realised that people are randomly disliking posts for no reason up to page 4. Who are these trolls!?
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-31
THE POWER TO XLEAN UP STUFF WITH YOUR SUPER STRONG PUNCH
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-31
The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...
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-31
the power to sleep while standing!
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-31
The power to turn any object into food
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-33
The power to disintegrate yourself
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-35
Basic telekinesis, limited to moving your body parts with your mind.
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-47
To point out that the superpower below was the power to type partially invisible sentences. Moral: I did not realize that most of you would find that too hard to understand, but thumb me up if you did... And thumb me up if you did not... (watches comment disappear in the minus 10000 comments section) Damn flashes of the future... Heck! Just thumb it up if you like it because you liked it... and leave it be if you do not... or else I will use my most evil superpower in the world: Ignorance... aka I will ignore it.
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-49
The power to read an animal's mind, but only when they're in a vegetative state.
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-55
the power to like justin beiber
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-55
The ability to fly, but only when you wear absolutely nothing.
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-59
The power to have any guy you want but every time he looks at you you turn more lesbian.
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-61
The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off
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-65
the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore
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-71
The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.
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-73
The power to never run out of toilet paper when going to the bathroom
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+44
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!