the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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The power to get this. Do you get it?

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The power to hear in the dark.

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The power to have a normal sized torso, but short legs.

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The power to instantaneously change the grain of wood

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The power to mentally control tapeworms.

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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Super Stength Backlash: Power of an incredibly powerful punch, but everytime you strike the force is reflected back onto you.

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The power to know the name of every show while the title card is in front of you but only if you are holding cheap mango chutney

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The power to shit 1 penny per every year

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the power to sleep while standing!

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The power to make a child in Africa die of starvation every time you sneeze

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THE POWER TO XLEAN UP STUFF WITH YOUR SUPER STRONG PUNCH

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The power to turn any object into food

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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Basic telekinesis, limited to moving your body parts with your mind.

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To point out that the superpower below was the power to type partially invisible sentences. Moral: I did not realize that most of you would find that too hard to understand, but thumb me up if you did... And thumb me up if you did not... (watches comment disappear in the minus 10000 comments section) Damn flashes of the future... Heck! Just thumb it up if you like it because you liked it... and leave it be if you do not... or else I will use my most evil superpower in the world: Ignorance... aka I will ignore it.

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The power to read an animal's mind, but only when they're in a vegetative state.

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the power to like justin beiber

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The ability to fly, but only when you wear absolutely nothing.

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The power to have any guy you want but every time he looks at you you turn more lesbian.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!