The power to eat your poop

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The power to vote for Hillary Clinton and be happy with the decision that you made.

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the power to find children extremely attractive

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The power to lock open doors

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The power to change laws if you're allowed to.

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The power to start a zombie apocalypse

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to add a minus to your bank account balance.

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The power to be invisible to eligible singles.

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that each time your nearest friend gets hurt you get hurt with it more with 10 times

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The powers to know every martial art ever when your neck is broken.

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The power to (involuntarily) duplicate someone's wounds or illnesses by touching them.

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The power to sexually attract whales

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The power to eat soup with a fork

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The power to fart get a 10 inch but only at your moms house

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The power to die using your willpower.

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The ability to change races.

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The power to slightly accelerate the growth speed of your left toenails.

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to withstand Justin Bieber's music.

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The power to kill yourself at will

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!