The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The power to do NOTHING!

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The power to stop time for all living beings in the world, including yourself, and starting it again at the same time as the time would have been if you didn't stop it.

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lol

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The power to turn into a dogbed when somebody says micro-tacos

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The pewer to kill elderly people by sneaking up behind them and yelling: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT!

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The power of women's rights.

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The power to run 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% slower.

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The power to be the best driver in the world, when not moving.

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the power to see through windows

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The ability to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

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The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

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The power to urinate in any color- even rainbow color!

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the power to act exatctly like a pineaplle.

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the power to commit crime.

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The power to swim very fast in shallow water.

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The power to resurrect as a corpse when you die.

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The power to conjure chairs at will.

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The power to only make burnt toast

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The power to travel faster then the speed of smell

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The power to feed cat toes to your boss but only during a job interview

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The power to hate someone you don't even know

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!