The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

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The power to believe you are being hilarious... get it? Eh? ;) ;) Ahahaha XD Yeah, thats funny eh? Yeah I know, how does he do that xD, I wish I knew hahaha HOHOHO! I should be a comedian!

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The power to transform every book, note or image on the television into illegal child porn simply by being near them.

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the ability to levitate

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The power to teleport yourself naked in front of your mom each time she is naked. (it cant be shut of)

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The power not to find what you are looking for.

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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the power to add .1 mile to the odometer of nearby vehicles

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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The power to fly when you are in a plane

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The ability to push "pull" doors, and pull "push" doors.

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the ability to eat three tons of dirt

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to turn water into water with a yellow tint.

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the power to speak only in binary

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The power to wake up 5 minutes earlier.

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The power to transform into yourself

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the power to talk backwards

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The power to think of a funny power

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to fight fire with fire and create more fire.

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the power to repel any girl that you like and be extremely attractive to girls you do not like at all

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The ability to become visible at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!