The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

THE POWER TO FUCK ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK

The power to only be obesely fat.

the ability to not have to sleep as long as your procrastinating how ever if you dont sleep after 24 hours you will die if you try do anything productive thus you must procrastinate for the rest of your life

the power to find a needle in a haystack

The power to be a normal human

The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.

The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

the power to dance in the dark

The superpower to makr Thanksgiving turkey taste like rotten eggs!

the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

the power to time travel 1sec to the past every 1 day

the power to walk through any wall BUT the walls of the room you're in.

The ability to pass gas and have it smell like coffee from Starbucks.

the ability to glow in the light.

The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

The power to turn into a mouse. But only in front of a gang of cats.

Permanent superspeed - The ability to move faster than a speeding bullet, but you can't stop moving at that speed.

The power to run the fastest when everyone in the world is standing still

The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

the power to die on a cross and come back to life 3 days later

The power to taste anything you smell.

The power to eat multiple things at a time

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!