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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.
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+78
THE POWER TO FUCK ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK
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+34
The power to only be obesely fat.
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+71
the ability to not have to sleep as long as your procrastinating how ever if you dont sleep after 24 hours you will die if you try do anything productive thus you must procrastinate for the rest of your life
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+39
the power to find a needle in a haystack
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+104
The power to be a normal human
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+14
The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.
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+102
The power to turn a brainfart into a fart
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+70
the power to dance in the dark
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+181
The superpower to makr Thanksgiving turkey taste like rotten eggs!
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+7
the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised
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+23
Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.
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+130
the power to time travel 1sec to the past every 1 day
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+222
the power to walk through any wall BUT the walls of the room you're in.
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+136
The ability to pass gas and have it smell like coffee from Starbucks.
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+136
the ability to glow in the light.
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+112
The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye
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+82
The power to turn into a mouse. But only in front of a gang of cats.
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+284
Permanent superspeed - The ability to move faster than a speeding bullet, but you can't stop moving at that speed.
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+70
The power to run the fastest when everyone in the world is standing still
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+121
The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.
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+172
the power to die on a cross and come back to life 3 days later
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-3
The power to taste anything you smell.
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+134
The power to eat multiple things at a time
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-43
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!