To be able to bend glass at will but if any of the glass breaks you break with it

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The power to always throw a seven with two dice, but only when no one's looking.

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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THe power too spel.

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The power to re-size my toes at will.

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The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

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The power to reed a platypus mind.

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The power to fold paper seven times

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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To summon a duct tape PEICE for 3 seconds then disappears but you can only do it each century

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The power to do nothing at all without getting bored or tired.

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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The power to continuously and periodically turn oxygen into carbon dioxide using magic organs in your chest by sucking the the atmosphere through your mouth.

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The power to switch the position of your salivary glands and your prostate...

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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The power to have amazing sexual prowess for 24 straight hours, but only on days that you have to work overtime. This is actually true.

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The ability to clean

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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The power to not be Chuck Norris.

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The power to orgasm everytime you pee.

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the power to like justin beiber

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!