The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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The power of exploding when you think.

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The power to pee and poop at the same time.

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the ability to invent cheese and toast

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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the super power of being a housewife..

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The power to remember long sequences of numbers. But only the even ones.

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The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

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To connect to the Playstation network with your mind! Who would want to?

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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The power to change the color of your arm hair.

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The power to dive through an ocean without having to breathe, but only if the ocean is made of vomit.

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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The power of having two left hands.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The ability to sling web like Spiderman except you can only shoot webs from your butt hole.

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!