Alzheimers man, the ability to show up where you are needed but forget why you are there in the first place

The power to cheat death, but only when your alive...

The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

The power to lift any weight but only when you're lifting something light.

The ability to fly only as fast as you can walk.

The power to cease to exist at birth!

The power of love

The ability to put your whole foot in your mouth.

The power to vote on useless superpowers

The power to control facial hair of women.

The ability to read anything, and never understand it.

The power to spontaneously grow a beard, except you lose hair from your head..... it also takes about a month.

the power to be justin bieber

The power to switch your right and left ears.

The power to turn apples into pears

The power to continuously shoot extremely powerful lasers from your eyes unless they're closed or you wear special, unbelievably expensive glasses.

Steel kidneys

The power to send emails via pigeon

RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITY

KeemStar

To be able to cut grass to the femtometer of any desired length, but only whilst standing in the eye of a hurricane.

I can talk to fish.... They don't have a lot to say

the power to view the same insurance commercials over and over for years and recite them from memory

The ability to create pointless super powers

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!