The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The power to be fluent in every language but only when your head is fully submerged underwater.

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the power to shit shards of glass

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The Power to stick your head up your ass. Aka be a politician.

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The power to run 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% slower.

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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(PS: Neo was the seventh Jesus, we live in the matrix)

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the power to stop writing pointless super powers

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The power to turn rice into cooked rice with your hands, but only exactly one rice at a time.

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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Super Arians. Moral: If you think of it, Super Sayan is an acronym for Super Asian, are blonde blue eyed Asians superiors? DRAGON BALL JAPANAZEE!

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The power to issue commands to domesticated house cats. Not the power to make them obey your commands, just the power to issue the commands.

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The Power To Be Sent Back To Your Exam's And Then Getting All The Answers Wrong Making Your Intermittent Future A Dream And Your Mansion A Tent.

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The power to explode when someone looks at you and regenerate in 10 minute after exploding but you can only regenerate from exploding.

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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The power to not constantly thumb my comments up or down, whichever. Moral: Energy spent on me, is energy well spent! Stay proud and walk tall soldier!

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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The power to make anyone with the exact same genetic makeup as you bleed at a wound if there is a bullet imbedded in their head

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The power to waste time and sit around doing nothing and not helping society when you could be doing something productive

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to accidentally make pop-up adds appear on the device you are using if you click the X on a website or add!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!