The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

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the power to fire your bellybutton lint out of your navel at a speed of 3 miles per hour.

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The ability to see the future but only when you are in the past.

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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the ability to be a vampire on a stick

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The power to transform your appearance so that you look unmistakably like yourself.

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the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

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The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

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The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

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The power to use expired coupons, this Power expired 3 years ago

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The power to feel lustful when watching My Little Pony Clopfic.

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the power to say the power to say the power to say the power to say.....

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Permanent superspeed - The ability to move faster than a speeding bullet, but you can't stop moving at that speed.

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Guys, it's over.

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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The power to breath fire but only when covered in gasoline/petrolium

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TREE POWERS ACTIVATE!!!!!!

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the power to be a regular person on supermans planet.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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the power to save Chinese people... who needs um?

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The ability to change the color of your poop

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the power to distinguish gays from not gays..

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!