The power of evolving a cancer cell everytime you blink

The ability to feel all pain 30 seconds after it happens.

The power to thumb up your own comments.

The power spite flower

the power to do something amazing, when no one's looking.

The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

The power to breathe without thinking about it.

The power to eat anything, as long as it's food

The power to remove any fart smell from a room by taking ten deep and loud inhales through your nose (only five for girl farts).

The power to write a country song

The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

The ability to catch any ilness you want.

The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

The power to never end your .

the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

You can send your mind and memories into your past self, but it doesn't work if you have any regrets or want to do things better.

The power to have a second brain, but it has the IQ of a rock.

The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

The ability to know exactly where every Canadian penny within 5 feet of you is.

The power to move objects by touching them.

The power to talk to dust

The ability to never have to take a shit again

the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!