the power of piss mountain dew and shit cheeseburgers

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the ability to swim in a toilet bowl

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The power to STFU!

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the power to summon chuck norris... but he kicks your ass every time for bothering him

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The ability to instantle tangle your hair.

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The ability to be invicible, only when you commit a suicide.

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The ability to blow strawberries

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The power live 0.0000001 seconds longer.

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The ability to think the world is flat

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The power to turn anything you want green.

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The power to shape-shift but only into an Alpaca

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the power to shit shards of glass

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The ability to hold your breath forever, but only in an oxygen-rich environment.

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The power to taste the food you deficate

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Airbending, but only in vacuum.

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The power to potato.

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the power of cosmic pimping with a space suit on!

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The power to turn wine into water

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The power to blow out your ears by watching TV

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the power to make your penis any size you want, only when your wearing sweatpants...

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The ability to make the skin above your eyebrows really, really dry and flaky---whenever you want!

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The ability to make iguanas in Peru blink uncontrolably

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The ability to decrease the size of your girlfriends breasts.

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The power to stop a sneeze before it happens.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!