the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The power to hear a "SSSSSSSS" sound, then be blown up.

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power to give automatically give all your money to a Nigerian businessman for a special investment opportunity

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The power of having a short attention sp-- Ooh shiny!

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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The power to recite 1,000 digits of pie, but only when you need to say the Fibonacci sequence

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The power to extend your pinky toe

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the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

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The power to be and do whatever you want except living forever, only when you are dead

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The power to even

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The ability to invent a new language that no one else will ever learn.

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The power to control weather on Mars

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The power to waste time coming up with pointless super powers

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The power to make water expire.

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The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The power to kill anyone who is 4 seconds away from certain death

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The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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The power to walk on water. Unless its above 0 degrees celcius.

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The power of coming back from dying but dying 1 second later.

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!