The ability to run faster than the speed of sound, but only when laying down.

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to disguise as an old woman but only with a proper costume and 20 minutes of time in a bathroom to get the make-up done properly.

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The power to reverse age all the way into your fathers balls. Nero: Know my name and fear it.

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The power to be able to freeze anything, with the help of your trustworthy sidekick the freezer.

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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Being only half invisible.

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The ability to have any destructive power... As long as you use it on babies or old people.

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The power to know who farted at any time.

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the power to smell the insisde of your own nose

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The ability to be in fashion.

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The power to fall down stairs sooner than you should have.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

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The power to swallow instead of spit

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To be able to estimate time between 5:00am and 5:07am

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the power to attract flying frisbees to your own nose

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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The power to know all knowlege for any exam in the world, but forget it during the examination.

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The ability to look at someone and know the exact number of times they have farted in the past year.

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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the ability to wake up on an elephant

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!