The power to sit on a couch whenever your mother tells you that you can.

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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The power to make things disappear when I shut my eyes, then bring them back when I open them.

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The ability to breath underwater but loses the ability to breath normally forever

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Incredible Slothman. The power to move slowly.

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The ability to turn anything into a belt.

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The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

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ikawlhan forever

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All of Superman's powers except instead of Kryptonite your weakness is water

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The ability to be invisible but only while playing the tambourine.

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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Super Arians. Moral: If you think of it, Super Sayan is an acronym for Super Asian, are blonde blue eyed Asians superiors? DRAGON BALL JAPANAZEE!

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The power of always having small, thin clothes in the winter.

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

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The Power to Die if you are dead

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

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The power of fart only in front of cheerleaders

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the ability to earase your mind but only before a test

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the power to read this sentence

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to turn grow a vagina that can whistle on your neck during a full moon.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!