The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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The power to sense if an object is sharp.

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to fart mace

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The power to read people's minds, but in a language you don't understand.

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the power to watch reruns of NBC's "Joey" in your head

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The power to time travel 60 seconds a minute

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the power to absorb other superpower, but no one have superpower

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the power to turn a care package on black ops from dogs to ammo

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The power to be an exceedingly homosexual man and be constantly surrounded by sexy women.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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The power to identify a senior citizen by looking at their naked butt.

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the ability to type slower.

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the ability to draw spectacular things but only with invisible ink.

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power to fart through your mouth

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the power to breath without thinking about it.

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the ability to walk through your clothes

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The power to be wet and not know it.

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The power to look super sexy, but only in pitch black darkness.

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The power to kill yourself at will

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The power to do a back flip by drinking water during a front flip

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!