the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

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The power of superman while never being able to leave Krypton.

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The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

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The power to resurrect dead insects

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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The power to see the future five days after it has happend

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The power to see through walls, but only when you're in a glass room.

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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Feeling people's depression.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to count to infinity.

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The power to have the aim of Torres

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The ability to count to potato

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The power to think about a location and forget that you travelled all the way there, making you think you can teleport.

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The power to turn freshwater into saltwater

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!