The power to disguise as an old woman but only with a proper costume and 20 minutes of time in a bathroom to get the make-up done properly.

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

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to be only be able to walk for 0.0183874662 ever 11.204882884832 days

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The power to make apples into pennies one per day.

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Taekwondo

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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Ability to suck **** like austin calhoun

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The power to fart out of your hands.

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To have the power to breathe

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The power to breathe

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the power to glow in the light

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The ability to mimic your actions in a mirror perfectly

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The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

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The power to have sex whenever you want, but only with Rosie O'Donnell

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-The ability to turn friction on and off.

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The power of self mind control

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The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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the power to fly but only if you keep both feet firmly on the ground

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The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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The power to be extremely well-endowed while having sex, but only when masturbating

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!