The power to walk 1% faster.

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Liam Brudenell

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The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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the power to enter a coma.

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The power to make things disappear when I shut my eyes, then bring them back when I open them.

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The power to see water one meter behind you.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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Acid tears.

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The abilty to jump 50m in the air without the abilty to survive long falls

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Power to not get pissed off after seing so many of this: "Power to turn invisible when no one is looking."

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The power of being negative all the time.

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The power to Silence everyone when they're saying anything

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The ability to generate bellybutton lint at will.

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The power to open a pickle jar in one try

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The ability to propel yourself and others away from you by sneezing.

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the power to read and agree with the terms of service

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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the power to get struck by lightning at will.

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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The power to shape-shift into a chair, but only a chair

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!