The ability to part hair.

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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The power to inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen

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The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

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the power to yell a math problem at will

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Nothing

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The power to be oppressed by everything

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The power to pee while standing up

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The power to Punch holes in Mountains, Only Mountains and nothing else.

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to grow plants, only using your mind

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The power to achieve 98% opacity

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the power to fly, but only at the speed of light you, for less than 1 second, but you must land at the exact same spot you started and your mind cannot comprehend anything any differently than a normal human

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The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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the power to fly but only if your feet are touching the ground

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The power to see the future while you sleep. Side effects: insomnia

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The power to like Justin Bieber

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The power to remove seeds from seedless grapes but only on the 4th of may on a sunday

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The power to smell WiFi Signals

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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The ability to be a plonk and post 'Pointless Super Powers' that aren't pointless and are could actually be quite useful.

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the power to get extra homework

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!