The power to disguise as an old woman but only with a proper costume and 20 minutes of time in a bathroom to get the make-up done properly.

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Taekwondo

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The ability to fly while awake, but you are narcoleptic

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The capability to draw penises very well

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the power to forget all you learned when taking the final. just so u could remember it later...

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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The power to turn your pants into underwear, but only when you're wearing them.

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Ability to suck **** like austin calhoun

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The power to breathe

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the power to glow in the light

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The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

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The power to explode by yelling ALLAH FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE! (Bonus: you always appear on Al Jazeera when you blow yourself up)

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power die if you think.

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to simply walk into mordor.

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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Ability to be Stephen Hawking's stunt double.

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the power to fly but only if you keep both feet firmly on the ground

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The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!