Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the ability to jump up absurd down. Without your feet leaving the ground.

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The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

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The power to explode by yelling ALLAH FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE! (Bonus: you always appear on Al Jazeera when you blow yourself up)

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The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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the power die if you think.

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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Balls.

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The power to simply walk into mordor.

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the power to fly but only if you keep both feet firmly on the ground

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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Ability to be Stephen Hawking's stunt double.

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The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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the power to at will swap your hands and feet around... you fall over every time

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the power to not finish your

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The power to look through glass.

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the ability to grow trees in the desert

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Expert level knowledge of the Kardashian lore

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To be able to run the speed of light but only works if your standing still?.

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The power to fight your way out of a wet paper bag.

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The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

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The Power of Super Speed only when you climb a ladder

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The power to give epic blowjobs, works only if you are a incarcerated, straight male.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!