The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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To have the ability to piss off the police

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the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to make some else throw up only if u throw up on them

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The power to smell water.

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The power to be able to vote for Donald Trump

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to lick your own balls!!!

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The power to have a very keen sense of smell 24/7 but only when a fart is present

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to transform every book, note or image on the television into illegal child porn simply by being near them.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to never need to eat, unless you are hungry.

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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the power to shit yourself when you sneeze.

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!