The power to not look up silly websites on the internet

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

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The power to make dead batteries appear.

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The ability to be heard in space

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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the power to see through people's clothing when they're naked

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the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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The power to see 147 billion years into the future.

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The power to read people's minds, but in a language you don't understand.

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The power to automatically attach yourself to any active fireworks.

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you are immortal, but only while rubbing your mothers feet.

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to not get shit dick

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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The ability to get up early for school, but only on weekends.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power to shoot rainbows out of your elbows but consequently having your skin fall off

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The power to have explosive diarrhea after eating Chipotle

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The power to spit fire only by drinking gas into a flame - Isaac goodall

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!