the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

the power to fly, with a string atachted to you

The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

The ability to draw a perfect circle.

The power to type any password only if some one tells you the password first.

The power to breathe but only when your dead uncle breathes

The power to only be able to eat poop

The ability to play UNO without a tongue

The power to change traffic signals to anything that is not beneficial to you.

The power to swim on land.

The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

The power to turn cake into pie

The ability to sling web like Spiderman except you can only shoot webs from your butt hole.

The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

Vanilla scented blood

The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

The power to poo without wiping.

The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

The power to enhance your enemy's strength

the power to make faces at the blind

the ability to cough musli in hot girls faces

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!