The power to speak any language, but not understand them.

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The Power to Read really Small Words

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The power to die on the spot and not revive

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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the power to see the present

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

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The power to think of words that rhyme with orange.

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The power to act like Tommy Wiseau

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The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

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The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

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The ability to discharge a battery - JW

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!