the ability to die on command

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THE POWER TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS

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The power to hear train whistles from 50 miles away.

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to create balloons out of anywhere on your body, and twist them into whatever you look at.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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The powers to have super speed when you can't run anymore.

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The ability to produce infinite cat flavored toast made from poop out of your mouth, only while in public with 100 people that would stare at you.

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the ability to levitate

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The ability to turn things into gold, but only when the material the item is made of is more valuable than gold.

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The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

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The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.

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The power to shoot liqiud gold ever 3-6 years only when you come across jesus.

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The ability to build a wall... wait a minute!

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The power to read any language, but it will always be backwards.

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The power to detect homosexuality in animals. ~scramjat

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The power to slowly float upward with awesome evil aura whenever you laugh evilly (just like in the movies/anime/etc) Only to realize you are stuck up there until someone gets a crane or something to get you down...

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The power to overcome any addiction by constantly doing whatever you are addicted to.

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The power for electronics to slowly deteriorate and completely break in just 6 months

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The power to fart glitter at birthday parties.

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the power to change the size of your thumb when ever you want

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!