the power to hover an inch above the ground once every month.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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The power of making your tits smaller

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the power to shit yourself when you sneeze.

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The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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T3h p0w@ T0 b3 L33T

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-The ability to turn friction on and off.

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The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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the power to eat with your butt

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The ability to trip on flat surfaces

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The power to turn into a lamp and stay that way till someone turns your light on.

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the power to jizz money

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The power to transform money into a foreign currency of lesser value.

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the power to hovertate

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to read your own mind!

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The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

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The power to Punch holes in Mountains, Only Mountains and nothing else.

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The power to make money disappear.

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The power to shit bricks, uncontrollably.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!