the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The power to automatically attach yourself to any active fireworks.

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the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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The power to time travel 1 second at a time

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The super power to shine in daylight

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The power of singing piano playing and color blindness. Moral: "The skies are orange! Blue Roses too"

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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The power to turn pizza into math worksheets. -Big C

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the power to fire my lazer

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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The power to touch the lava when falling off the couch

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!