The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

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The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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The power to start a zombie apocalypse

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The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

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the power to stare at someone without blinking or smiling for ever

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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th eability to have sex with anyone in the world but have to have sex with rosie o'donnell first

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The power to have any nice guy, but they're all gay.

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the power to read minds but forgetting it for 3 seconds

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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the power to gain the intelligents of forest gump, but not the table tennis playing ability

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to think up the best lines but forget them when you try to speak

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The power to smell a fart from a 500 mile radius.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The power to type some incredibly perverted "superpowers" and get a boner while laughing so loud the neighbors on both sides of your apartment closed their windows.

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The power to make something cold when you put it in the fridge

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The power to turn into a rolly polly, but only twice a year and for 5 minutes each time

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The power to have 50%-78% water in your body

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!