The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to run at the speed of a human

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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the power to fart in 7 different colors

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the power to say everything in Comic Sans font.

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the power to waste time watching a video about pointless superpowers while using this website

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to inhale coins without dying.

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The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

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The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

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The power of hearing peoples conversations but only on topics related to Shrek.

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The power to make up pointless superpowers

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The superpower to detect when someone is racist.

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The ability to teleport into a wall

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The power to be skillful at everything but only while asleep.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!