the ability to levitate

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the power to enter a coma.

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the power to walk on land.

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The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

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to be one second faster than 5mph in any 80's arcade game using one finger to push the buttons

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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The power to walk 1% faster.

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The power to make only right turns. take THAT nascar!

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The power to make any single girl instantly reach for her Mace.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to have rotten teeth until you go to the dentist's.

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The power to see correctly with wearing glasses

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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The power to sleep on road trips but only if you're not in a car.

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to power to pick your nose without anybody seeing

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The power to jump 1 inch higher than the typical person.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!