The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to have a massive nob on your forehead and to attempt to have sex with anything with more then one lump on its chest :D

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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The power look at this post -yeah it's completely pointless

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The power to become tired at will but never sleep.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to fly.......but only in your underwear.

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the ability to sound exactly like Justin Bieber.

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The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

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The power to fill up your HP, but only when it's full.

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The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

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The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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The power to automatically attach yourself to any active fireworks.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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the power to create carbon dioxide (its the stuff you breathe out)

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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the power to make coffee room temperature by touching it

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!