The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

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the power to make coffee room temperature by touching it

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the power to create carbon dioxide (its the stuff you breathe out)

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to run at the speed of a human

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to turn pizza into math worksheets. -Big C

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

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The power to have sex and sleep at the same time

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The ability to sense a crime has been committed, but only after the criminal has already been caught and safely locked away in jail.

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the power to fart in 7 different colors

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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the power to say everything in Comic Sans font.

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the power to waste time watching a video about pointless superpowers while using this website

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to inhale coins without dying.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!