The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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The ability to erase your own memory of your ability.

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The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

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The ability to fly for 14 seconds every decade.

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to see oxygen.

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The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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The power to type some incredibly perverted "superpowers" and get a boner while laughing so loud the neighbors on both sides of your apartment closed their windows.

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The power to be a woman

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the power to gain the intelligents of forest gump, but not the table tennis playing ability

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The ability to know who is calling without looking at caller ID

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The ability to have X-Ray vision that only works on glass.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to create a meme

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The power to push "pull" doors

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The ability to breathe out of water.

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The power to forget how to swim.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!