The power to science.

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Justin Bieber

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the ability to stare at a cactus for a week without being bored

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The power to push "pull" doors

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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the power to be on fire always.(even when u are in water)

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The power to (involuntarily) duplicate someone's wounds or illnesses by touching them.

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

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The power to gain 10 pounds whenever you eat something

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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THE POWER TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE VIA CAPITALIZATION

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The power to read 1.2x faster than the average person.

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The power to gain 50 dollars every daybut have to pay 75 back every 12 hours.

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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The power to fall without screaming.

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The power to breath fire but only when covered in gasoline/petrolium

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The power to shoot off your clothes at any moment while using your hands and feet

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The power to see the past. Only the past. Never the present.

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The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

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The power of having the highest rated comment

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The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

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The power to draw a perfect circle.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!