The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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The power to end a sentence the way that people wasn't expecting them to orangoutang.

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The ability to play UNO without a tongue

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the power to change invisable when you blink

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The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

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The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

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power to fly...backwards.

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The power to a nokia phone.

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The power to start a zombie apocalypse

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to fly in tornadoes

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The power to make an awesome school lunch for the kids!

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

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The power to turn into any cat which is about to give birth.

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The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

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the ability to know if a movie is bad or good but only after you have watched it

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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Zebra Man has the power to change color from black to white and back again, at will

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The power to lick your own elbow

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!